… You can make coffee as sweet as you desire. … A cup of coffee always looks good. … Coffee smells good. … Coffee tastes good. … Coffee doesn't take up half your bed. … You can have a good conversation with coffee. … You can have coffee anywhere, anytime, and not get arrested. … You can have as many coffees as you desire. … Coffee doesn't care what you look like.
The FA today announced that women were to replace its men as players in the national team. 'Well', FA chief Donald Duckov said, 'when we've been reduced to playing people like John 'Buster Keaton' Terry and David 'Can only take free kicks' Beckham...
1. You don't have to put cream in your coffee to make it taste good. 2. Coffee doesn't complain when you put whipped cream in it. 3. A cup of coffee looks good in the morning. 4. You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee. 5. You can always warm coffee up. 6. Coffee comes with endless refills. 7. Coffee is cheaper. 8. You won't get arrested for ordering coffee at 3 AM. 9. Coffee never run...
So apparently today is Ada Lovelace Day, when we should "publish a blog post on Tuesday 24th March about a woman in technology whom we admire". This is, of course, something I'm happy to do - many women have driven the advancement of technology over the years. So, in the spirit of the event, I'd like to dedicate this post to a woman who, I feel, contributed significantly to the development of t...
England's winning Women's World Cup cricket team have been speaking about their victory today. In a joint statement from the team they said that although they were really happy to have won, they were sorry they couldn't have been the men's team.
Jen Szalinsky had a very busy day yesterday, but somehow was able to complain to all who came her way. Szalinsky, a 25 year old secretary for the Rollins Company, walked into the office yesterday to find a huge workload on her desk. "...
A two-year study by experts from the University of Dungeness, Kent, has shown that women talk about 18% more than they did ten years ago, a rise of 40% on the 1970's. The rise is being put down to the increased use of mobile phones, although Profe...
A sensational find has been made at the District Valuer and Valuation Office of Shrewsbury. A package wrapped in a copy of "Punch" dated 12 February 1823, was discovered pushed behind the toilet cistern on the first floor of Mount House. It contained...
Rumors abound about a squirrel woman and her insatiable appetite for collecting men's nuts. Hospitals are reporting an unusual number of balless males appearing in emergency rooms hysterically screaming about their missing testicles and one or anothe...
In a recent study completed at the University of Stalybridge in England, the scientists have revealed that female gender of the human species would become extinct by the year 2027. The findings revealed by the CASRC - Centre for Angered Species Re...
A women assaulted a man in a pub after she over heard him telling a sexist joke to his surrounding friends in London pub. Florence Woodhall (age 39) leaped across the table of My Fathers Moustache, a small pub in Camden London, punching Steven Dow...
The England cricket has been recalled by the ECB after their woeful display in the first test in the West Indies. The womens England team is been sent out the Caribbean to play in place of the male side. The England team lost the match by an inni...
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be: 1. A friend 2. A companion 3. A lover 4. A brother 5. A father 6. A master 7. A chef 8. An electrician 9. A carpenter 10. A plumber 11. A mechanic 12. A decorator 13. A stylist 14. A sexologist 15. A gynecologist 16. A psychologist 17. A pest exterminator 18. A psychiatrist 19. A healer 20. A good listener 21.
A woman saved herself from being assaulted by writing her attacker a cheque for £20,000. But her would-be rapist Martin Cartwright, 49, was caught when he tried to pay the cheque into a bank, telling cashiers that he had won the lottery. Which...
A woman based in the south of England today declared open war on the male of the species. Dee Lee Almost Lightful told reporters from the spoof.com that men were basically a waste of space. She told us: "Men think they're more interesting when...
She is not a babe or a chick - She is a breasted American. She is not easy - She is horizontally accessible. She is not a dumb blonde - She is a light-haired detour off the information superhighway. She has not been around - She is a previously-enjoyed companion. She does not nag you - She becomes verbally repetitive. She is not a two-bit hooker - She is a low cost provider.
A multinational corporation found itself in a rather slippery situation today after its petroleum jelly brand was sued for the heafty sum of $10,000,001. Mrs B. A. Gentleman pressed charges against the company after she caught her 12 year old son...
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