Ninety percent of a graduating class at the exclusive St. Sodom the Dingbat boys school at Wallamaroo, Australia, have been wiped out in a retaliatory SWAT policing action while participating in a series of end of term 'burn and pillage' hi-jinx pran...
An innocent teenager was stabbed to death today in London who had absolutely no connection to anything whatsoever - especially not all those gangs he used to hang around with. Amacoontoo Mugsgranies from Crapsville, London was walking along the ro...
Guy Ritchie has delayed post-production on his latest movie and ordered a series of last-minute rewrites to the as-yet-untitled period drama. Industry insiders had previously praised Ritchie for his "change of direction", when it was announced tha...
A wannabe celebrity chef has been found guilty of porking his male lover to death, in a Viagra-fuelled drunken sex romp, with a twelve inch strap-on salami. He then compounded his crime by slicing off several choice cuts of the victim's flesh and coo...
Warren 'Potsie' Webber, the simple-witted crooner from the 1970's, hit sitcom "Happy Days is the U.S' most prolific serial killer. The Daily Scum can reveal that 'greasy' Potsie is the 'Phone-Book' Killer, who chose his victims from the phone-book...
A former Mr Gay UK slit his lover's throat then marinated his diced flesh with fresh herbs. Good heavens! There's only one thing poor Mr Gay UK can now do: (phone ringing…ringing…ringing…gets picked up) Gay: "Mr. Simpson, is that you?" L...
A Man has died in the small village of Washington Smythe, for being Pedantic. The chap was too interested in little details and being right all of the time, that a number of his friends formed a firing squad. Andy Pandy, a friend of the unnamed ma...
Terry Phillips. Not a known name of the times yet but will be remembered throughout them. This is the interview with the person who attempted to become the most successful serial killer of all time. On asked on how he came to be in this kufuddle the answer was as follows: "Well it'd been a normal day at work and a fairly normal night in front of the telly. I was watching a show about a s...
A gold-digging former prostitute will be sentenced later for murdering her elderly husband after discovering he was not as rich as she thought. Titiana Dzerzhinsky-Edwards, 27, is facing life imprisonment after stabbing spouse Glyn in the stomach...
Upper Lower Higgensfield- Shocking news has just come filtering into the office today that an entire high street has been found dead. The high street of Upper Lower Higgensfield was described by the investigating officer DI Chaplin as a 'happy go...
Well, have you? Never? Oh, come on! There must have been a time when someone pushed you to the limits, wound you up [strong][i]so much[/i][/strong] that you felt like you just couldn't take any more of it - what about then? Couldn't you have taken [strong]an axe[/strong] to their head or, better still, sliced it off with [strong]a diver's scabbard[/strong]? Yes, that's it! You're remembering no...
American and other Western Allied Bombers have been blasting to bits civilian men, women and children in the innocuous name of collateral damage. That is, until Afghanistan finally took a stand against the bombing of weddings, baptisms and bachelor a...
Brian Riggs a 47 year old unemployed man from Leatherhead, has been arrested by Greater Surreyshire Police following the discovery of the bodies of quite literally hundreds of Manchester United fans on Mr Riggs boat. He was led away by plain clothes...
Dorothy Gale, a 15 year old Kansas girl, was being sought by juvenile authorities from the country of Oz this afternoon for the double homicide of two sisters.
The shocking rise of Knife Crime in Britain is having a direct effect on the retail sector, it has been claimed, with world-famous Harrods of London being the first retailer to introduce Suits of Armour in its Autum...
A mystery murder of an elderly man suspected of being killed by maggots, that has confounded police experts and forensic scientists for more than 7 years, has finally been solved by a quick-thinking schoolboy.
Mayberry NC--Opie Taylor was arraigned on first degree murder charges against Aunt Bea, 97. It was the first recorded murder in Mayberry's history. Mr. Taylor, 55, is charged with smothering the old woman with a pillow in the trailer they shared...
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