LONDON - The much awaited true story of 60s music icons Petula Clark, Marianne Faithfull, and Cilla Black had its premier in London's famed Mrs. Eric Idle Royal Auditorium. The British Birds was produced by noted producer Duffy Bayou-Gauche, who h...
London - (The Sting): London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine quacks treating Cheryl Cole's malaria have ordered an autopsy after a dead mosquito was found in the singer's knickers. The insect's last meal is suspected to have been a succule...
On again, off again, on again; this has been the pattern ever since two of the world's most popular, albeit not talented, popstars, began dating a few days ago. Two days ago, I made up the story of the two's relationship amidst rumours of marriage...
Somewhat surprisingly, Cheryl Tweedy, formerly Cheryl Cole out of Girls Aloud and the X-Factor, has come down with malaria. Which explains a multitude of accusations levelled at Britain's sweetest sweetheart since Princess Diana. Although experts...
24 hours ago, I reported news of a romance. However, circumstances have changed, and I am now saddened to reveal that the Tweedy/Bieber romance which we broke the news of has turned sour. Staff at Boujis had informed me that the pair "were smitten...
Following her dramatic collapse at a North London photo shoot yesterday, Cheryl Cole convened a press conference in her palatial bedroom and addressed the media as she lay gently reclining in her sick bed. As an aura of hushed reverence enveloped...
It appears that overwork is taking its toll on X-Factor judge and singing sensation, Cheryl Cole. Onlookers looked on in horror yesterday as Cheryl collapsed at a North London photoshoot for her new album. Friends had expressed concerns that she h...
Scottish Tennis misfit, Andy Murray, has sensationally gained his first actual fans today. The British Number 1, notorious for his surly personality redolent of a whiny teenager, though, has put his new-found surge in popularity down to his charisma.
Reports are filtering through that Cheryl Cole is to tie the knot with Dancing Derek Hough later this year in Las Vegas and that Ashley Cole is to be the best man. Cheryl, who is rumoured to be considering entering Dancing With The Stars with Danc...
Yesterday, we revealed the sensational news that the latest subject of Ashley Cole's attentions, was none other than Russian born 'lady-boy', Lickya Balsov. Today, Cole's estranged wife Cheryl sent him her warmest wishes and hoped that they would...
DUBAI, India - Cheryl Cole and her American boyfriend Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough were vacationing in Dubai after a whirlwind romance that has seen them each fly to each others respective side of the "Pond." The two lovebirds were spotted check...
Some of today's beauties are undressing before the cameras and it's for a good cause. These include, as of today, Miley Cyrus, Cheryl Cole and Megan Fox. Also participating in the charity include Christana Ricci, Kylie Minoque and others are signi...
LOS ANGELES - Justin Bieber was having lunch at a local Jack-in-The-Box when he received a text message from his manager. He was informing him that the president of North Korea Kim Jong Il had just offered him 10 million Wons [$698,913 U.S.] to p...
DETROIT - In a move that Simon "The Prince of Putdowns" Cowell said was a jolly, bloody, good, gobsmacking idea, celebrities from Great Britain will be flying to America to perform for the American troops stationed in Detroit's combat zone. Cheryl...
Middle East - The Road to Doncastrus, (twinned with Wakefield for obvious reasons) Strange breaking news from the road to Doncastrus today as three singing divas disguised as nuns in order to confuse curious camels, were hitch-hiking to a special...
It has been a tough few weeks for top UK narcissist Ashley Cole, writes Kelly Seye, Egotism & Airhead Correspondent. The self-stimulating superstar, part-time fashion accessory and up-himself moron (who also plays football for Melchester Rovers...
Dear Editor: I just thought that I would write a quick little message and just let everyone know that I am not missing. And the truth of the matter is that I am purposely hiding in a cave in Afghanistan. Yes I know it sounds crazy, but hey Osama Bin Laden has been doing it for years. I find that the absolutely atrocious Afghani heat helps with my sinus condition, my digestive system, my circulato...
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