White House spokesman Tony Snow informed us recently that Bush enjoyed his 10-day vacation from Washington and had made quick work of the Algerian-born writer's Albert Camus’ 1946 novel The Stranger. While some may not consider that notion peculiar, most college students who have ever read this in literature class can testify that there is no such thing as “quick work” of The Strang...
Seattle, Washington - Jason Peters had a habit. It wasn't a very nice habit. His mother told him to use a Kleenex, but he just wouldn't listen. Unlike the nursery rhyme, when he stuck in his thumb he didn't get a plum... he got his own eyeball.
Houston, Texas - Mabel Washington was fed up. She just couldn't take it any more. The time had come to make it stop, so she took matters into her own hands…...
Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): The corridors of power on Capitol Hill have been awash all week with high level rumors that Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has a Plame-Game injury time wild card up his sleeve and is ready to play it as a on...
WASHINGTON, DC -- The U.S. Transportation Security Agency announced it will impose more airline restrictions following the terrorist threat in the United Kingdom. Beginning immediately, all passengers will be required to wait five days before travel...
Washington AC/DC - (Asso-CIA-ted Mess): Special agents in the FBI's superstition humbug busting directorate are poised this weekend to enforce a little of their own Biblical Soddom and Gomorrah on the US TheoCon movement that bankrolled the Cuba...
Washington, D.C.[/b Condoleeza Rice said that if the Iraqis keep killing each other off, eventually it will get down to only one or two people left, and then it will be much easier for them to come to agreement on everything.
Washington, DC -- The US Department of Agriculture (USDA) has decided to cut testing for BSE (Mad Cow Disease) by 90%. Formerly testing 1 in 100 slaughtered cows, the USDA will now let that number sink to 1 in 1000. But the agency is intent on reassu...
Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): A new Bush/Blair timetable has been reported as leading to a new ceasefire in the war-torn Middle East as the two leaders agreed yesterday to pack in as much ballistic hardware into the Tel Aviv-bound trans-atlanti...
WASHINGTON (Reuters)-Reporter Wayne Madsen, formerly of the US National Security Agency has learned that the vacation in Lebanon for Israeli Defense Forces was determined in June during meetings in Colorado between Benjamin Netanyahu, Natan Sharansky...
Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): The Pentagon is urgently reviewing new Mossad-sourced intelligence linking Manhattan socialite and canny business investor Ivana Trump with the razing to the ground of much of Beirut, home of the Hezbollah terror o...
WASHINGTON (AP)-White House volunteers who took an illegal drug made from mushrooms reported "profound mystical experiences" that led to behavior changes lasting for weeks, in an experiment that recalled the psychedelic '60s.
Washington, DC - In a surprise admission of real stupidity Homeland Security Inspector General Dick B. Skinny admitted that the database of national monuments and other places subject to terrorist attack had been hacked by a group of nuns calling the...
Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): The White House has ordered that all US military detainees are to be given the last rites, in compliance with President George Bush's interpretation of the Geneva invention and in accordance with the Departmen...
Washington, D.C. - Secretary of State Condoleezza (The Unsticker) Rice announced today that the Bush Administration "totally blames Kim" (of North Korea) for the current (some would say hideous) trend in arm crossing. She pointed out numer...
Washington DC - (Associated Mess): The Osteoporosis Division of the Ancient American Order of the Skull 'N' Bones has rallied round its No 1 rent boy after the US Supreme Court said he had no authority to run a dictatorship just because he h...
Washington DC - (Associated Mess): The House of Representatives Homeland Insecurity Committee chairman Peter King has reacted badly to US press reports that a recent make-over by Hollywood stylists credited with Teri Hatcher's astonishing image...
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