Education chiefs today claimed that the popular television series 'Little Britain' is to blame for falling standards of behaviour in the nations schools. John Cole of the Nova Mews Educational Laboratory said "Kids watch this shit and then mimic i...
it has emerged from the university of Oxbrains that it is to late to ban teaching of students. 'It's two late', ProfFessor Humphrey van Kretinov said, from his study in Eliza Dunlittle College, 'far to late, for the illegitemate righters and reade...
A scandal is brewing that could affect the 2012 Presidential run of former Florida Governor Jeb Bush. The adult love child of Jeb Bush and his former prostitute mistress Legi Slature, a Ms. Flo Comprehensive, who also goes by the rap name of F-Cat...
It has emerged from a university that teaching students maths, English and other lessons, stops there minds from writing stuff like this. Professor fumbler has said that "this sort of learning can seriously damage a child's brain and we should use...
Since the death of newly canonized St Jade Goody, the Reality TV show that catapulted her to heaven itself has been appointed Secretaries of British education. Parliament spokesperson, Lady Pop Kulture Pearls explained: "For years now we h...
Three Year Old Rancid Mohamad Deepengin passed his 5th A Level exam yesterday, this time it was in Physics. Three year old Rancid (a self confessed bookworm and proper little know-it-all) said that when he grows up he wants to be a nuclear physicist...
The popular BBC 2 quiz show, University Cage Fight has been reported following an anonymous tip off. The show features lots of public school educated types locked in combat with each other. Cage fighting in schools became popular in America and Eton,...
News just in. Ringo Starr the 'fourth' beatle is to study for a degree at Bill Shankley Institute Liverpool. He originally tried to enroll on the music program, but a lack of talent prevented him from taking up a place. Instead he is to study for the...
Bloomberg,Reuters & others (yawn) - Schools across England & Wales face a blanket ban on pupil disciplne according to a new report released today. As a result of pressure on the government from inspectors. Teachers were described as 'too in y...
The schools watchdog has lavished praise on the 'school of life' following a recent inspection. The five hundred page inspection report contains endless reference to a, "superlative educational experience in which valuable lessons were learned the go...
Schools should adopt 'back-to-basics' disciplinary methods in order to curb bad behaviour and improve educational standards, according to a report published today education watchdog. The report praised the work of some state schools in deprived ar...
Children in England are getting a 'deficient' primary education, according to a report released today by the Cambridge Primary Review. According to the report, primary schoolchildren are having far too much of their time and attention focused on '...
Colleges in the UK have been told to 'tone down' their support of religious extremism in their classrooms, as the government believes that they are a festering mess of potential suicide bombers and terrorists. A specialist technology college, in A...
Instead of slaving in the classrooms from 6.30 am to 10.30 pm,the middle and high-school students are now having a much more healthy and productive kind of education. They are being taken in huge numbers out to the countryside, to learn how to becom...
The management of a school in the North of England have been desperately seeking the instigator(s) of a series of leaflets ridiculing the management and circulated around the school. It followed 2 incidents of bullying when a deputy head screeched at teachers "If you don't like it here you can f*** off" in response to teachers having a moan about their bosses. The first leaflet was entitle...
A Ministry of Education inquiry, headed by Lord Dorkbungler, into the chaos affecting the Sats tests taken by school pupils in England this summer can't make its mind up about what went wrong. Exam' watchdog chief, Dr. Ken Crunt, labelled by the...
Two blockbuster Education studies were released this week from thunk tinks of the highest caliber. The Institute for a Moral Compass announced that US students by their own admission are the biggest, liars, cheats and thieves in the world. One in...
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