Written by matwil

Thursday, 26 March 2009

image for Two late to ban teaching of students
I before sea, exceppt after dee

it has emerged from the university of Oxbrains that it is to late to ban teaching of students.

'It's two late', ProfFessor Humphrey van Kretinov said, from his study in Eliza Dunlittle College, 'far to late, for the illegitemate righters and readers of this country. i surgesst such people either take English lessons or start hissing my mystery lessings.'

'Such laxness in spelling, punctuation and grammer would not have been allowed under Oxbrains' dean, Sir Spoonfed Fforker-Smythe de l'Sinonim O'Guinessless. Or under his vice dean, Miss Fiona Fulchest-Girlzontopski. I hearby plead with the government to make poor grammar and literacing a capitol offence, and to bring back the death penalties after extra thyme for crap spellings.'

Journalists have traditionally been what the Ministry of Educations called 'a bunch of alcoholic idiots, that couldn't write to save their lives', but fortunatily no such journalists write for The Spoof. 'No such journals write for The Spook', Sir Profesor van kretinov said, opening his second bottle of Glen Dajackson, 'our glorius university educates students to the highest standardss.'

'Our standards will not flag nor sway under relentness spoofs or satiries, this is our pledge to keep the British Empire alive, and empire where the sun never rises on literate people any more.'

'Your worship', he said, four he was in court in his studio, 'I wish to bring the courtney's attention to five hundred and forty-one previous convincers', and realising a good punchline when he's made it, Sir Spoonfed stepped down from the dock to cheers from his friends and relatives their, a freeman again.

The English language itself will be appearing in the court later, charged with being the easiest language in the world to read and write. Except for students.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Education

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