Taliban City, Talibania (IP) - We find our music and entertainment reporter on the scene, Ebenezer Finootch, in a dimly lit coffee shop on Osama Street secretly writing down a transcript of a new blues song which has become a big hit with Talibanese youth still fortunate enough to own a radio and those hard to get D-cell batteries that these radios require.
Palm Beach High School, West Palm Beach, Florida (IP) - Social studies teacher Ebenezer Finootch has written an informative book describing how members of the Taliban may be lacking in some social skills. Mr. Finootch has been studying this issue in...
Taliban City, Talibania (IP) - On the scene reporter Ebenezer Finootch reports that Taliban industries has announced the grand opening of a cyber auction site that will be called T-bay. Mr. Finootch reports that it will resemble the very popular and...
Taliban City, Talibania (IP) - Our global news reporter, Ebenezer Finootch, was informed by the Talibanic Public Relations Council that the Taliban will be opening a chain of hair and nail salons. Mr. Finootch advises those persons who would like to...
Fukengrooven, Germany (IP) - Sources in Europe revealed today that they have intercepted a video recorded by Taliban Industries that displays a new line of toys that will soon be made available to Arab children.
A new video of the al-Quaeda chief was posted on the internet today in which he called for praise and understanding of "our brethren who share the same bed". Though bin Laden has been rumored for sometime to be extremely close to a number o...
High Sierra, Afghanistan - After the Taliban blew up the giant Buddha statue in Bamiyan, Afghanistan in 2001, top Taliban commanders have not conducted a poll to determine their all-time favorite targets they wished to destroy until today. On their a...
Helmand Province, Afghanistan (Reuterus) - A vaunted 'spring offensive' promised by Taliban fighters failed to materialize according to a senior NATO commander. British Brigadier Mortimer told Reuterus, "We don't if it's short o...
Helmand Province, Afghanistan (New York Times) - A weekend boating accident on the Helmand River in which several Taliban fighters died has been blamed on the boat's captain, Yosef Hazelwood. Mr. Hazelwood was not from the area and lacked famili...
Helmand Province, Afghanistan (Early Bird Current News) - In a desperate attempt to regain control in Afghanistan, the Taliban are claiming Mullah Nasruddin as their top replacement for the recently-deceased Mullah Dadullah.
Mullah Mohammed Omar ,infamous leader of the radical fundamentalist Afghani Taliban, complained that he has not seen Osama Bin Laden for five years. " I write , I call , I even e-mail and nothing, absolutely nothing!" : The Mullah has lamented to friends. " We were close , really close and now it's like we never even knew each other. I know life must be tough in the caves or whe...
KABUL, Afghanistan - A record crop of poppies in Afghanistan has led to a world-wide glut of poppyseeds, a popular topping on muffins and bagels. Strict production controls established by the Taliban fell away following the US "liberation&quo...
In a shocking episode at the Australian Open Tennis Tournament in Melbourne recently,Taliban tennis legend 'Mucktear Karbang' declared a 'Jihad' against the Umpire for a line ball call. Mucktear ,centrecourt during a no love ma...
Kabul - Amongst the new freedoms enjoyed by citizens of the beleaguered Afghan capital, the right to free expression has possibly been the most widely excercised over the last few weeks. No shortage of opinions, even those of the mo...
American propaganda drops over Afghanistan have not been effective in winning over the Taliban orientated population, because they have been "missing the point".
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