Taliban Personnel Lacking in Social Skills

Friday, 3 August 2007

image for Taliban Personnel Lacking in Social Skills
Telephone conversations are the preference of many Taliban members

Palm Beach High School, West Palm Beach, Florida (IP) - Social studies teacher Ebenezer Finootch has written an informative book describing how members of the Taliban may be lacking in some social skills. Mr. Finootch has been studying this issue in depth and has come up with a theory that most people can relate to.

Mr. Finootch asks his readers to look back at their own education and try to remember how from time to time, on any given day, they would be absent from school - most likely due to illness. Let us apply this theory to ourselves. On the day we were absent we obviously would miss the lesson(s) for that day and that would leave a "hole" in our educative process or a weak spot in reference to the subject du juor. An example is the old rule "I after E except after C"......If a student had the misfortune of being absent on the day that that particular rule had been taught then it is quite possible that the student would have difficulty with spelling words where that particular rule is applicable.

Mr. Finootch's theory states that certain members of the Taliban may have been absent on the day that Dale Carnegie's "How to Make Friends and Influence People" was taught. He also suspects that many from the same group may have been absent when the lesson involved personal hygiene, manners, social skills, negotiating, the golden rule, and how to properly prepare table settings for dinner guests.

The U.S. Government has become very interested in Mr. Finootch's theory and has decided that rather than try to re-educate those members of the Taliban who may be lacking in social skills and etiquette that it will outsource this task to Vietnam. The Vietnamese will invite members of the Taliban to its re-education camps where after RECIEVING a warm welcome the Taliban will be thoroughly trained in Mrs. Emily Post's crash course in etiquette and manners and the Vietnamese will teach them French. Upon graduation from these courses of study the Taliban personnel will be eligible for jobs state side in the restaurant and catering business. They will have a great opportunity to become waiters, chefs, and Maitre D's at opulent hotels and restaurants in Palm Beach and Paris.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more