Hospitalized after testing modifications to his sleigh in flight, Santa Claus sustained numerous facial injuries and may not be released from North Pole Community Hospital by December 24th, doctors say. The multiple lacerations and deep cuts rece...
Where was the Con-Dem government today when the shit hit the fan? Do Nothing Dave and Nasty Nick retired behind the barricades, as the nation told them that they were basically no better than a bag of shit. As student protesters smashed windows in government buildings, including the Treasury, there was a resounding lack of response from this bunch of completely clueless cunts, who were elect...
The Secret Service and Washington, D.C. Police are looking for a person or persons who rang the doorbell to the entrance of the White House late Tuesday evening and ran, leaving behind a flaming bag of poop. The butler, wearing bed slippers, reported...
Well who the fuck is to blame for Ozone holes appearing in our once so pristine atmosphere, look sideways and you will find the answer? Jaggedone has been researching this subject and after studying a global scientific survey I have come to the stinking, disgusting, polluting, stenching conclusion that farting Indian/African Elephants, Australian Sheep, American Cows, etc, are to blame! Nev...
Laughing hysterically, I found Amy Winehouse bent over a chair at a restaurant in New York City, just after she had told others there about one of her wild adventures and so, being a reporter, I asked her about it. "You're laughing and you don't even know the story", she accused me. "Your laughter is contagious!" "And that's not all that's contagious! hah hah hah! Just kidding. Come over...
Washington, DC -- In a display of bipartisanship, Democrats and Republicans hammered out a compromise of the Crap-and-Save Bill, part of the Troubling Asses Relief Program (TARP). "This would have been impossible prior to the mid-term elections," sai...
Tuesday October 12th, Actor Gary Sinise did the impossible, taking a shit while running at full speed. "Well, it all started as a bet a few weeks ago" says Sinise. Claiming it to be like the bet that took place years ago between wether or not A...
British Gas has teamed up with local water authorities to utilise sewage farms to make gas. Sewage is stirred and aerated and methane gas is made by the action of bacteria. The amount of solid waste produced by each person each year can supply eno...
Commonwealth Games officials investigating the quality of the water in the Games' swimming pool have revealed that they have found what may have been causing illness amongst several of the swimmers - a giant turd. England's team leader John Atkins...
Borrowing technology invented in the UK, President Obama announced today a break thru in combating Global Warming by appearing at a ribbon cutting ceremony at a brand new Sewage Treatment Plant off the West Wing which he said will cut the country's...
In a stunningly hilarious twist to the old "burning paper bag filled with dog crap" routine, that has been routinely played out down throughout the centuries, some local kids are thought to be behind the setting fire to a whole shit load of dog poop...
Police in Yorkshire say they have apprehended a suspect in the case of a mysterious turd that was left behind a door at a local factory. Polly - no second name - was arrested last night after confessing to friends that it had been her who had laid...
Most people agree that a bouncing and blundering puppy is about as cute as animals gets - except for the smelly downside - number twos. For their size, puppies burn an inordinate amount of energy - spending most of the day chewing anything with co...
The Royal (Dick) School of Veterinary Medicine is located in Edinburgh. It is part of the University of Edinburgh. This name is not a reference to the Skoob appendage or any of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth's male relatives Royal Dick Now that's...
LAS CRUCES, New Mexico - Random chia pet sculptures have been mysteriously popping up at a local doggy park and, until now, no one knew how or why they were growing. Cute little sculptures of everything from Tweety Bird to SpongeBob SquarePants chia...
Double pits to chesty, my fat Italian ass. All that is going to do is make your upper torso smell like a diaper full of day-old curried chicken. I know that all the hip, happening youngsters of today are using this AXE bodyspray; I've seen the advertisements: Huge loser walks through highschool hallway, lamenting his lingering virginity and contemplating firing a revolver through his skul...
Big Brother, Big Brother The Ultimate - it all makes very little difference to Skoob Entertainment News showbiz correspondent Buffty Ginslinger, who has slammed the show from its inception as; "So shit, it's unbelievable." Filing his latest report…
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