Laughing hysterically, I found Amy Winehouse bent over a chair at a restaurant in New York City, just after she had told others there about one of her wild adventures and so, being a reporter, I asked her about it.
"You're laughing and you don't even know the story", she accused me.
"Your laughter is contagious!"
"And that's not all that's contagious! hah hah hah! Just kidding. Come over here and I'll tell you."
But by then some drunk who had heard the story interrupted and said that HE wanted to tell it!
"You see, Alice here...."
"Are you nutso. I'm calling a bouncer. Hey! Hey!"
"OK! OK! I know when I'm not sober...wanted."
"Don't put this in that rag of yours, Tooter, that 'West Toast Host' Bureau made up, but this is what I did when married to Blake:
"One night I was barely able to come home..had a few. There was Blake in bed snoring like Bush In The White House! But I was hungry so I found a candy bar and laid down to sleep. It was a Baby Ruff Bar.
Suddenly, it's 10AM and Blake is screaming! "Get out of this bed! You done shat all over it!"
"That was when I remembered I had started eating that Baby Ruff Bar. And I started laughing. And he asks what's so funny bout shattin' the bed? I said it's a Baby Ruff Bar, you Idiot!"
"Then Blake reached under my pillow and said, 'No. THIS is a Baby Ruff Bar!' Ha Ha Ha! Get it?"
This is Tooter Day for the "West Coast Toast..Post".