Pope Benedict XVI, Captain of all the Catholics, has sensationally revealed that the churches stance on condom use may finally be updated. Until now condoms have been viewed as the Devils sheath. A tool of the gay and promiscuous, morally unaccept...
The Catholic Church is advertising for exorcists. If you find that you can cause another person's head to spin 360 degrees and are not a boxer or middle linebacker, please get in touch with the Vatican. A letter from a leading Bishop states that p...
Women's rights and separation of church and state supporters beware, there's a new sheriff in town, and his name is Archbishop Timothy Dolan from New York. At a time when the Catholic church should be mending fences with parishioners over a recurr...
(Vatican City) - Papal aficionados have confirmed once and for all that the Pope does indeed "wear a funny hat". The final verdict by the jury of twelve swung convincingly toward the direction of Funny after evidence was produced vis-à-vis a divin...
Five bishops are to join the Roman Catholic Church under a Vatican scheme intended to provide a welcome for sexually disaffected Anglicans. The move involves three serving bishops and two retarded bishops, who say they are 'trading faiths' because...
The Vatican ordered Carla Bruni not to accompany her husband, French President Nicolas Sarkozi, on a state visit to the Roman Catholic HQ. Officially, the reason given was that nude and scantily-clad pictures of the former model and singer would b...
The United States intends to send troops into Heaven, in a move to prevent terrorists from operating there. Called Operation Free Heaven, the top-secret plan, conceived during the Bush administration but never carried out, is gaining momentum in high...
Queen Elizabeth of Great Britain has converted to Catholicism. Her Majesty's subjects learned the news when Buckingham Palace issued a statement. Those subjects who are Catholic rushed out on to the streets where they fell to their knees in pra...
Not since Lady GaGa has a cult leader so brazenly courted publicity. After having to issue multiple apologies for his role in covering up sexual abuse in the Church, claiming that condoms worsen the AIDS crisis and decrying gay rights as 'insidiou...
A secret dossier has been leaked onto WikiLeaks about the Pope's real plans for his visit to the UK. As part of his visit he will visit Queen Elizabeth, who is head of the Church of England, a sect of Christianity that broke away during Henry VIII's...
Just when the Catholics thought it was safe to emerge from the corruption closet, those pesky Belgian child-molesters have reared their paedophilic heads to keep them inside for just a little longer. Secret recordings have revealed that a senior f...
Violence has continued for a third night as unreasonable Catholics in some parts of Londonderry have tried to deny the Protestant Apprentice Boys of Derry the right to march through Catholic areas of the city in celebration of a victory during the Si...
Police and fire crews were called to Our Lady of Perpetual Forgiveness in Worcester, Massachusetts last Saturday evening when a church secretary called to report a strange smell emanating throughout the chapel where mass was being held. At first, eve...
Robert Green, the hapless England goalkeeper who was solely responsible for England not winning the World Cup, has been chosen by the pope to be the face of the new Catholic Condom. The Vatican has at last bowed to pressure from health organisatio...
Father Thomas McBlarney, a priest at Mel Gibson's personal Catholic Church in Malibu, The Church of the Broken Family, is trying to sell the confessional Gibson frequents at the church on eBay for an undisclosed sum of money. Taking his cue from a...
While the ordination of women priests has been dubbed a "crime against faith" by the Vatican subject to investigation by its disciplinary body formerly known as the Holy Office of the Inquisition, writes Patrick O'Buggery, Medieval Power-Abuse Corres...
VATICAN-I-STAN: Firmly ensconced in the deep bowels of the Inner Sanctum Sanctorum [i.e. hiding from The Truth], the King of Denial, "God's" Greatest Liar on Earth - His Absolute Unworthiness - the Poop and his frilly-frocked sycophants continue to...
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