A new species of ancient human has been unearthed in the Afar region of Ethiopia, scientists report. Researchers discovered jaw bones and teeth, which date to between 3.3m and 3.5m years old.The teeth showed signs of violent clenching and grinding...
Friends… I…I…what I want to say is this…that while I was travelling around the country…I…I met a girl…a girl called Mary… and Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow …and what I want to say is this…that…that everywhere that Mary went the lamb was sure to go. (Pause for applause) And then I met a man, a…a… man called Humpty…a man called Humpty Dumpty… And, friends, Humpty Dumpty...
Doubts have been raised that the given reason the Oscar Pistorius trial was adjourned for at least four weeks to allow Pistorius to be assessed for mental illness is in fact the truth. An investigative Reporter from Pretoria, has revealed this wa...
Labour leader Ed Miliband has pledged to ban heterosexual sex if he wins the next general Election. "Heterosexual sex," claims Miliband, "is responsible for the population explosion and the resultant consequences are mass unemployment, famine and...
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was hospitalized Sunday after doctors discovered her hairstyle, for some time a cause for concern, had become even worse, her spokesman said. She is expected to remain at New York Presbyterian Hospital for the n...
An innovative research program into treatment of Morbid Obesity was dealt a major blow yesterday by the death of the patient involved in the highly contentious experimental treatment. The Deceased, who was severely obese due to a diet extremely hi...
In response to the growing fears regarding the extent of the Oil spillage in the Gulf of Mexico, President Obama released the following statement:- In view of the ever increasing risk of pollution and the resulting environmental damage being caused to the area I intend to take the following action:- I intend to have, without delay, a microphone placed outside the White House. I will then ha...
The official 2012 Olympic mascot was unveiled today and its a one eyed trouser snake. Officials explained their choice: " The one eyed trouser snake is a fantastic concept. It's fun, it's tactile, it can be enjoyed by people of all ages, genders,...
Ex Prime Minister Gordon Brown has been found hiding in a cupboard near the Cabinet Office at No.10 Downing Street. The discovery was made by cleaning staff shortly after Prime Minister Cameron's historic first Cabinet Meeting of the Liberal-Tory...
Mystery surrounds Gordon Brown's early trip to B & Q this morning. Mr Brown left before 8am. returning with hammer, nails and a bundle of planks. Observers say that for the next hour banging and swearing was heard from inside the premises and...
Gordon Brown today announced "I am the Prime Minister and I am not going to leave just because a load of bigots are allowed to put a cross on a piece of paper. We are introducing with immediate effect a new electoral system based on "intellectual rig...
The Prime Minister today expressed his concern regarding levels of immigration from the sub continent as a result of the Icelandic volcano eruption crisis. It is reported that up to 100,000 immigrants a day are unable to land in this country durin...
Labour party spin doctors have announced what might prove to be a highly controversial tactic in an attempt to show Gordon Brown in a family friendly light and which will, they hope, counteract the widely held perception he is an ill-mannered grumpy...
When questioned regarding claims he allowed the cover-up of sexual abuse of children by clergymen in the United States and Europe when he was Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger and in addition his subsequent failure to take punitive action against abusive pri...
Gordon Brown today entered the row regarding the proposed closure of the Cadbury chocolate factory at Keynsham following the recent takeover by Kraft Foods Company. The Prime Minister expressed his fears for the future of the workforce and declared h...
Gordon Brown, the Force's sweetheart, risked his popular standing yesterday by declaring that : " Football isn't what it used to be in the 70's and early 80's." " I used to love" he explained " to stand in the terraces watching the players in t...
The Prime Minister today admitted that he and Alistair (his darling) Darling had fallen deeply in love. Mr Brown revealed "On Wednesday morning I was spitting blood.I called the Chancellor into my office to give him the biggest bollocking of his l...
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