When questioned regarding claims he allowed the cover-up of sexual abuse of children by clergymen in the United States and Europe when he was Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger and in addition his subsequent failure to take punitive action against abusive priests; Pope Benedict XVI stated :
" Well we all make mistakes I'm not infallible you know."
When pointed out that it is an article of faith that the Pope is in fact infallible the Pope replied:
" Yea that's what I thought when I agreed to do this job. So the first Friday after my consecration I could not wait to do the Eurolottery. 90 million Euro rollover. I thought I was well in!
"I chose the first seven numbers I thought of and waited for the draw well chuffed at the prospect of 90 mil being in my cassock pocket the next week.
"Well when it came to the draw, I was sitting there in front of the telly with some of the Cardinals and a few cans for the celebration... Nothing ..nothing, not a dicky bird. Didn't even get a sniff of the crappy 8 Euro prize for a lousy 2 number + 1 star. I'm really pissed off. I'm going to check my job description again. I feel I've been misled somewhere here..... So don't give me a hard time just because I didn't cut the balls off some two bit cleric with a wondering Dick under his cassock!
"And another thing that Pope mobile how embarrassing is that? The other week some bastard little kid knocked on the window and said "Two vanilla cones and a choc ice mate".
"No this is one for the Court of Human Rights. I've got a Hearing next month then I'm out of here."
A spokesperson for the Catholic Church said " It looks like we were given the wrong signals. (smoke signals that is)."