The Incredible Hulk abruptly came out as gay leaving a sudden, gaping hole in the GOP's anti-gay agenda. "Hulk SMASH closet!" said the huge, green monster, sporting a smug grin and semi-erection as he crashed to the ground with a "THOOMP!!" and broke…
The White House reports that President Obama has "up and converted to evangelism" in preparation for a possible run against Herman Cain in 2012, apparently not realizing Cain had already bitten the proverbial political dust. Citing Harold Campin...
MSNBC commentator Rachel Maddow bitch-slapped Obama's speech to the nation regarding the BP oil spill and delivered the speech she would have liked to have heard, officially getting all up in her own ass. "We've been worried about the possibility...
Obama was severely burned during a rally at Arcadia University after spontaneously combusting while "getting fired up" about Health Care reform. The President is resting comfortably at Bethesda Medical Center, heavily sedated and a bit confused,...
In an interview with the Today Show's Jaime Gangel, conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh denied being the leader of the Republican Party, instead declaring himself its "Demi-God". Laughing maniacally, Limbaugh then demanded tribute in the form...
After a season of scarce satire seeping from the White House ranks, comedy writers have finally found fodder for hilarious headlines. Weeks of wandering in the political wilderness have left scores of satirists weak and starving for material. But tha...
After temporarily suspending his campaign in order to address the economic crisis, McCain reportedly started it back up and promptly crashed it into a tree. "The Senator is pretty banged up," said a spokesman, "but he's resting comfortably while...
In a shocking development, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama has been arrested in West Virginia, accused stealing the Democratic nomination. FBI agents had very little trouble locating Obama in West Virginia, but did extend apologies to...
A recent survey revealed that most Republicans still support Dick Cheney as Vice-President, while George Bush's poll numbers have apparently gone flaccid. In fact, Cheney's approval numbers continue to remain rock solid despite a spat of spec...
After successfully grounding Jet Blue for sponsoring a Daily KOS conference, O'Reilly shouted down what he claims is hate speech on the site. Comparing the unedited posts on the site to hate speech by David Duke, O'Reilly collectively offended liberals and neo-Nazis alike in one fell swoop. In doing so, the normally savvy pundit severely damaged his image, appearing more like a cranky, old...
In an unprecedented move, all Democratic candidates have conceded the election to their respective opponents. Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean announced the collective concession this morning. Initially believed to be an elaborate Halloween prank, it was quickly determined by mid-morning that all Democratic candidates had indeed thrown in the towel.
White House spokesman Tony Snow informed us recently that Bush enjoyed his 10-day vacation from Washington and had made quick work of the Algerian-born writer's Albert Camus’ 1946 novel The Stranger. While some may not consider that notion peculiar, most college students who have ever read this in literature class can testify that there is no such thing as “quick work” of The Strang...
BAGHDAD, Iraq Dec 8, 2005 - Saddam Hussein's claim that he wasn't really the former dictator of Iraq but rather a body-double fell apart today when one of the real body doubles positively identified him. "Yeah, that's him...so...can I go now?" said A...
After slamming into Taiwan early Sunday morning before pounding the coastal province of Fujian, China the same night, the philandering typhoon Longwang has finally shrunk to a tropical depression. Initially courting Taiwan with a reputation as a Supe...
Commander in Chief and War President George Bush stood up to his critics in the post-Katrina firestorm by putting his mother and wife on the streets this week. Calling comments by rapper Kanye West and Democratic chairman Howard Dean "disgusting", th...
Pat Robertson, who has recently prayed away a hurricane and single…um…double-handedly prayed at least one conservative Supreme Court nominee within inches of the Court, had a divine misfire this week and accidentally smote Lynyrd Skynyrd. "I was aimi...
Alan Greenspan, Chairman of the Federal Reserve for Life, continues to be upbeat about the economy and is spear-heading a new campaign to return consumer confidence. Project, "So, You Think You've Got it Bad?" features chances to win free trip...
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