A man who was the pillion passenger on a motorbike traveling on a country road this morning, suffered a somewhat debilitating circumstance, when a speck of dust entered his eye socket, causing him excrutiating pain. Moys Kenwood, 57, said: "The…
A new camera that will shortly be on the market, takes photographic images of, not only what is directly in front of the aperture, but also the very thoughts that are in your mind, or, to describe the process even more specifically, 'what you are thi...
A man who wears spectacles in the Cambodian second city of Battambang is tonight considering splashing out on a new pair, after the frames in his current pair cracked again - for a fifth time! Moys Kenwood, 55, has been wearing the non-prescriptio...
We've all heard about people receiving organ transplants and then experiencing a change in personality, or even that woman who got a new arm only to be strangled to death by it, but imagine being the world's first recipient of a full eye transplant o...
Forget crystal Meth and Marijuana, as they are both easily made or legal here and several other countries, the Mexican Drug Lords are now making most of their money by selling expensive body parts like kidneys and livers. "I can't believe all the...
Sparks and Mensa, better known for their high street stores for the cleverest of clever clogs, has branched out from branches into the automotive industry. "We're quite excited about this new range from S&M," said Jeremy Clarkson, who had tes...
Washington, DC - Finding little support for his administration's plan to punish Syria, US Secretary of State John Kerry is taking matters into his own face. The former Senator is activating his evil eye against the regime of Bashar al-Assad in r...
Sparks and Mensa the high street shop for the supernova of the intelligentsia have announced a new eye make up range aimed exclusively at men. "The eye liner range we launched last year did remarkably well," said manager of the Dorking store, Just...
For many years Intelligent Design have been using the human eye as an example as to why there must be a Designer responsible for all life. This has no been dropped after Michael Beye, author of numerous ID books and articles, discovered he needed gla...
Things will never be the same in Pompano Beach, Florida. Not since a giant blue eyeball was found on the beach there. No definite info yet as to how it got there or who owns it. As news of the eyeball spread, there were a variety of reactions. "I say it belongs to big brother," said a Florida teenager. "He's always watching, y'know." An older lady on the beach was sure the eyebal...
Apple may be keeping the features of the much anticipated iPhone 5 under wraps, but one new feature has been leaked through a patent made by Apple for facial recognition. "There's two reasons for Apple not telling people what's in the iPhone 5," s...
Local Man, Martin Shuttlecock, reportedly a globetrotting trout tickler of some repute, today revealed that he got something in his eye, as he settled down at teatime to watch ITV's flagship pre-news quiz programme, 'The Chase' on the television. "I don't know what it was, but it hurt like buggery," Shuttlecock grumbled. "I had to take a couple of tablets because me eyeball came up all red and...
In Brussels today Apple Inc (APPL:NYSE) announced the release of the new retinal and iris scanning application for the iPhone4. "Users had always wondered why the iPhone 4 came with 2 camera's and now we can reveal why" said Arthur Ramsbottom at...
The electronic implant which has helped blind people to see is seen by most people as a marvellous leap forward, or at least thought to be a marvellous leap forward by some who haven't had it yet, but a group of religious fanatics is threatening to d...
Convicted Peeping Tom, Tom Thompson, lost an eye last night whilst peeking through a peep-hole in the womens changing room at the leisure centre in Tring. The 42 year old father of none had been spying on several women as they gently lathered thei...
Congressman John Boehner of Ohio, long known for his "hooded eyes look" was arrested today for indecent exposure after opening his eyes wide in a press conference. No one in the Capitol had ever seen this and the reaction was immediate. "I can't...
Thomas Craig, world famous as the World Champion Fudge Packer, admitted today that his well known brown eyes used to be blue. "I've had so much packed in me that even the color has started to affect me." "I'm thinking about asking Linda Ronstadt...
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