Congressman John Boehner of Ohio, long known for his "hooded eyes look" was arrested today for indecent exposure after opening his eyes wide in a press conference. No one in the Capitol had ever seen this and the reaction was immediate.
"I can't believe this," said one associate on condition of anonymity. "I thought I could see right through to the back of his head and out the other side!"
"I thought I saw a large empty room filled with chairs," said another. "I thought I saw a dark cave with a fire burning and strange paintings of animals on the wall," said another. "No, I definiely saw the 18th fairway at the Pebble Beach Golf Club," said Congressman Eric Cantor. At this point Capitol police rushed to the scene took a look at Boehner's wide open eyes and immediately arrested him for indecent exposure.
Boehner, for his part, looked bewildered as he was escorted from the hall. A reporter asked him his reaction. As Boehner was rushed past him, he said under his breath, "Nice place to visit," he paused,"but I wouldn't want live there."
In other breaking news, Goldman Sachs has announced that they are putting mini casinos in all of their employee lounges. A spokesman stated, "We want our employees to be happy in their "off" time and to keep their skills sharp."
Reportedly, a file clerk in the New York office won a million dollar slot yesterday and was promoted to Vice President of the derivative division.
Editors note: The eyes are the mirror of the soul ~ Yiddish Proverb
