"You can imagine my shock as I saw two Black Hawk helicopters landing in the Ikea overflow car park followed by a horde of heavily armed black clad and masked figures making a beeline for the main entrance. I was thinking terrorist attack." So said s…
The people of Shanghai don’t like being locked down, whether in their homes (where some can only escape via suicide) nor while buying cheap but pretty furniture in Ikea. But in the footage where it appears as though many people were desperately ru…
Post Brexit consequences are being swept under the carpet (not made in the EU, Made in Iran) as UK mega-large retailers are beginning to complain that their shelves are becoming emptier and emptier! Brit supermarket shoppers are hoarding olive oil…
A man who has been missing since the beginning of the lockdown is thought to be still lost in a West Midlands branch of Ikea. Ladies man, Brian Asshat, was just looking for some Billy Bookcases, and some picture frames, but hasn't been seen on the…
Brian Kent and his fiancée visited the Coventry branch of the Swedish Ikea store in 2015, hoping to buy products for their new house. They had no idea of just how large the store was until they got there. Like all customers, they were issued with ruc...
There was growing concern for the safety of survivalist icon, Bear Grylls, last night, following his failure to make contact with his team after spending his third week inside the labyrinth of the Whitechapel branch of furniture retail giant, IKEA.
Insane and somewhat destructive news has come hurtling out of Sweden today as the country admitted that it’s famed “Swedish Meatballs” are in fact “Turkish”. At the mention of foreigners Brexiteers were up in arms and The Daily Mail published a “are...
Palo Alto, California - Elon Musk, the celebrated technology pioneer who founded and runs Tesla and Spacex, has announced a new startup that would develop technology allowing shoppers, burned-out spouses of those shopping, and others lost in Ikea sto...
Carson, Calif. - Business has never been better for Max Splitski, a divorce lawyer in the Los Angeles area. And his recent surge in clientele has all come from the very same place - the exit door at the IKEA, just down the road from his offices. "...
In a significant blow to The President Of The United States' ego, Michelle Obama proudly told a meeting of women C.E.Os that she always assembled furniture kits, as her husband had not got any patience and never read the directions. "He is absolutely...
Ikea customers, who consumed their meat balls while purchasing new furniture at the company's mega-stores in Europe and the UK, noticed that after feebly attempting to construct the damn stuff, they started to "champ at the bit!" (It's enough to driv...
Neighbors of a local Ikea store say they've had enough. They're complaining that an influx of Swedish day laborers is making their lives miserable. "They're out there as early as 6:00am with a carpenter's axe in hand, laughing loudly and chuggi...
This was monkey business, with a capital B. Turns out Darwin (yep, that's the monkey's name), who was wearing a shearling coat as he roamed the parking lot, was doing some modeling for his clothing business, which -- you guessed it -- manufactur...
A small monkey wearing a sheepskin coat was spotted shopping in a branch of Ikea in Toronto. Shoppers were surprised and shocked by the sight. "It was just a small monkey. I thought at first it was a little person in a mask." Mario Tomlin said. '...
The Lion that was originally spotted in Essex has made its way up the country to the Lancashire town of Pendle just in time for the Annual Coven Festival, which takes place every weekend in the town. "We couldn't believe it," said Peter Bottomthwa...
The Ministry of Defence today announced that IKEA had won the contract, to provide the Navy's next generation of economy wooden aircraft carriers. The idea of using the chipboard warships has angered many traditionalists within the armed forces, but...
Eurovision winner, Loreen, is at the centre of a bidding war for the use of his Eurovision winning, chart-topping song Euphoria. Loreen won the competition for Sweden, and now Ikea and Volvo are both after using the song in their latest advertising c...
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