Ode to Bradford Pears

Submitted by Matt Birkenhauer

Wednesday, 3 April 2024

“Bradford pear trees look pretty but smell like rotten fish. Should Texas ban them?” Headline, Austin American-Statesman

(With apologies to Robert Herrick)

Oh Bradford Pears, we hope to see
You haste away real soon;
You line our roads like maggot scum
And blight our afternoons.
Die, die,
Before the hasting day
Has run
But to the even-song;
And, having seen enough of you
We’ll gladly say “So long!”

We have short time to stay, as you,
We have as short a spring;
But you damn Bradford Pears each day
Just fuck up everything!
We die
As your hours do, and dry
Like to the summer's rain;
But long before I die I pray
To ne’er see you again.

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