Ode to Bradford Pears

Submitted by Matt Birkenhauer

Wednesday, 3 April 2024

“Bradford pear trees look pretty but smell like rotten fish. Should Texas ban them?” Headline, Austin American-Statesman

(With apologies to Robert Herrick)

Oh Bradford Pears, we hope to see
You haste away real soon;
You line our roads like maggot scum
And blight our afternoons.
Die, die,
Before the hasting day
Has run
But to the even-song;
And, having seen enough of you
We’ll gladly say “So long!”

We have short time to stay, as you,
We have as short a spring;
But you damn Bradford Pears each day
Just fuck up everything!
We die
As your hours do, and dry
Away,
Like to the summer's rain;
But long before I die I pray
To ne’er see you again.

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more