The Out Of Work Actor

Submitted by IN SEINE

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

An out-of-work actor got a call from his agent one day. "I've got you a job ."

"That's great," said the actor, "what is it?"

"Well," said the agent, "it's just a one-liner."

"That's okay," replied the actor, "I've been out of work for so long I'll take anything. What's the line?"

"It's a Civil War play and the line is, 'Hark, I hear the sound of cannon'."

"I love it," answered the actor, "when's the audition?"

"Wednesday," said the agent.

Wednesday came and the actor arrived at the audition. He marched on stage and shouted, "Hark, I hear the sound of cannon."

"Brilliant," said the director, "you've got the job. Be here by 9 o'clock Saturday evening."

The actor was so happy he got the job that he went on a major bender. He woke up bleary-eyed at 8:30 Saturday evening and ran to the theatre, continually repeating his line, "Hark, I hear the sound of cannon, hark, I hear the sound of cannon, hark, I hear the sound of cannon."

He arrived at the stage entrance out of breath and was stopped by the guard. "Who the hell are you?" asked the guard.

"I'm Hark, I hear the sound of cannon."

"If you're Hark, I hear the sound of cannon, you're late. Get up to makeup right now!"

So he ran to makeup. "Who the hell are you?" asked the makeup girl.

"I'm Hark I hear the sound of cannon."

"If you're Hark I hear the sound of cannon, you're late. Sit down here." And she applied the makeup. "Now quick, get down to the stage, you're about to go on."

He dashed down to the stage.

"Who the hell are you?" asked the stage manager.

"I'm Hark, I hear the sound of cannon."

"You're Hark, I hear the sound of cannon? Get out there, the curtain's about to go up."

He rushed on to the stage. The curtains rose. Suddenly there was a mighty explosion behind him and the actor shouted, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"


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