A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom, "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was Prime Minister: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was Chancellor of the Exchequer: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was Minister of Transport: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was Deputy Prime Minister: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was Minister without Portfolio: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was Secretary of State for the Home Department and Minister for Women and Equalities: although he had a nice position, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was Secretary of State for International Development: all he ever did was say how impossible linking was.
Husband #9 was Secretary of State for Health: all he did was look at and fiddle with it.
Husband #10 was Secretary of State for Work and pensions, but he was unbalanced and incapable.
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"