Star Trek - Light bulb Questions

Submitted by Inchcock

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

How many Starfleet Engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None.

If you run a phased inverse tachyon burst through the main emitter array grid and multiplex it with a subspace standing wave locked back into a diagnostic mode filter, you'll bleed off most of the static warpfield instabilities through the higher verteron harmonics of the decchyon field and get at least another 60 Watts out of the old one.

How many crew members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?

Eight

Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering section is burnt out, after which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead. Scotty after checking around notices that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he can't see in the dark to tend the engines.

Kirk must make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu and 3 red shirted security officers beam down.

The 3 red shirt guys are promptly killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured. Meanwhile, back in orbit, Scotty notices a Klingon ship approaching and must warp out of orbit to escape detection.

Bones cures the native king who is suffering from the flu, and as a reward the landing party is set free and given all the light bulbs they can carry.

Scotty cripples the Klingon ship and warps back to the planet just in time to beam up Kirk and the rest. The new bulb is inserted and the Enterprise continues its five year mission.

How many Federation scientists does it take to replace a light bulb?

Six.

One to fill out the environmental impact statement, One to fill out a cost analysis, one to request the light bulb, one to do a labor study, one to do a post installation followup study, and one to follow up on the follow ups. A robot actually replaces the bulb.


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