A man was seated in a restaurant eating dinner. When the waiter came by to refill his water glass the man noticed a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. When the man asked him about it the waiter replied:
"It's all due the efficient expert the manager hired. He instituted several things to make serving more efficient. Since many patrons often drop their utensils, all the waiters now carry a pocket full of spoons, forks and knives so that they don't have to go to the silver station to get a clean one and then come back. The expert says it saves time."
"Is the string part of the new efficiency?" asked the patron.
"Yes," replied the waiter. "The string is tied to my penis so that when I have to go to the bathroom, when I am finished and since I did not touch it, I save time by not having to wash my hands. I merely unzip and use the string to take care of not handling it."
"Interesting," remarked the patron, "but how do you get it back in your pants without touching it?"
The waiter looked from side to side to see if anyone was listening and in a low voice said, "I don't know about the other waiters, but I use a spoon."