Why does the blond Russian President ride around on a horse shirtless?
You only have so much sunlight in Russia to get a tan with.
Why did the blonde Russian President attack the country next to him?
It was more exciting than what they have on Russian television.
Does the blond Russian President need to annex so much extra land from other countries?
He’s running out of space to bury his soldiers in.
Why does the blond Russian President threaten the West with nuclear weapons?
Because none of his other weapons work.
Why does the blond Russian President kill off his critics?
He is jealous because their information is more accurate than what he gets from his advisors.
How many blond Russian Presidents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Russia has light bulbs??!!!
Why does the blond Russian President feel the need to show off his bare chest?
To prove that he hasn’t been secretly binging on McDonald’s hamburgers.
How did James Bond finally kill the blond Russian President?
By poisoning his hair gel.
Why was the blond Russian Presidents’ daughter angry at him?
Because the only one he would trust to take her to the prom was himself.
Why did the blond Russian President send so much disinformation to the United States?
Because that is the only sort of information they have in Russia and he wanted to share it.
Why did the blond Russian President love being blonde?
Because it was the hair color that his secret hero Hitler loved best on his own people.
Why does the blond Russian President love to give outdoor speeches on cold days?
A. It gives him the chance to show off his fancy coat that costs the equivalent of a half year salary of an average Russian.
B. There are only cold days in Moscow; there is no other choice.