Holy Shit-Eaters

Submitted by Ana Sian

Sunday, 17 April 2022

The Easter Bunny hopped up to the Pope and said, “Hey there, Your Holiness, do you like chocolate?”

The Pope, who loved all things except women, gays, paying taxes, and people from all other religions plus atheists, said, “Hell yeah, I loves me a whole lotta chocolate!” Then he got a sudden migraine and mumbled to himself, “Am I hallucinating again? Too much boy sperm?”

“Well then,” the Easter Bunny said. “You gotta try my chocolate. It’s the best ever!”

The giant Bunny turns around and bends forward and from under his puffy tail plops three (a holy number) big chocolate balls.

The Pope picks up one of the balls, takes a big bite, and smiles as he chews. “Boy oh boy – that sure is some yummy chocolate!”

His mouth is smeared in brown as he drops to his knees and crams the other balls down his throat like a greedy pig.

“Want some more?” asks the Easter Bunny.

The Pope frantically nods, unable to talk with a full mouth. More shit – I mean, chocolate balls – plop out of the Bunny’s ass, and the Pope miraculously chews and swallows without choking. He craves more and more, so he attaches his mouth to the Bunny’s asshole.

Some passing priests and nuns see the Holy Father in his knees eating what looks like rabbit shit, so they figure they have to obey the Pope no matter what, so they position themselves: Pope-priest-nun-priest-nun, all exposing their asses to the person behind, squeezing out shit after shit.

And that is where the idea for The Human Centipede came from.

Happy Easter, Holy Shit-Eaters!

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