Every woman's dream

Submitted by Samuel Vargo

Sunday, 9 April 2017

A lonely middle-aged woman, not a bad looker, but a girl lacking in personality and charisma, couldn't find a guy around her town so she went to market on the Internet and displayed the following advertisement on a dating site for 40's, 50'a, and 60's, who were all pretty well off, with fine jobs and such - not millionaires or billionaires, mind you - but folks with enough dough and material things to set them apart from most of the crowd.

Here's the ad -

I'm looking for a man with a good income who will not steal from me, walk out on me, and most of all, this joker has to be really, really, really good in bed.

A few days later, she heard the doorbell ring. "Who in the world?" she muttered to herself on her way across the spacious house, where she lived alone with four Doberman Pinchers. She opened the door and right before her eyes was a guy in a wheelchair with stubs for legs and arms.

"What do you want, Mister?" she asked.

"I'm calling on you in respect to your ad. I think I'm the guy for you," the oldtimer said. "I have a good income. I sued an airline for a jet mishap that occurred two decades ago and I settled with the airline for $20 million. I was the sole survivor. Luckily, I landed in the ocean after both of those wings flew off the plane. Luckily, a Coast Guard cutter was in the vicinity and I was saved right quick. So as far as being financially solvent, I guess there is not a red flag - not one - there. I doubt if you'll have any other potential suitors as well-off as me, in fact," the guy told her.

"Well you have no arms and legs. How in the world are you going to handle my extra-busy lifestyle. We can't even dance at social galas," she said.

"Well look on the bright side, babe - since I have no hands and arms, how am I going to steal from you? And since I have no legs and feet, how am I going to walk away from you? I don't even own a Porche, BMW, Audi, Volvo, or a Mercedes. I took a taxi here."

"Well just how in the hell are you going to be good in bed? How in the hell are you going to handle and satisfy my hyper-charged sex drive?"

"How do you think I rang the doorbell?" the invalid said, with a sly smile.

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