How many Trumpites does it take to change a light bulb

Submitted by Jung in the Jungle

Saturday, 6 August 2016

Thousands. 100's to spearhead the spin campaign that the light bulb doesn't exist;

Then 100s of Trumpites to begin the wedging marginalization campaign to point out that some light bulbs are owned by Muslims and pose a threat to decent light consumers everywhere;

Then 100s of Trumpites to hose down the natural outrage with well crafted micro-spin;

Then 100's to start a conspiracy that light bulb changers are terrorists sleepers and soften up the public for ban on light as it is bad for everyones eyes;

Then 100's to start public advocacy scare groups that light bulbs are using secret mind technologies to make average americans convert to Mulsims;

Then 100's to liase with the Russians to launch a terrorist attack on the light bulb factory so he can introduce patriot version 2 and completely strip away all of the few remaining civil rights;

Then get his secretary of state to go to the UN and rally for a global War on Light Bulbs as they are actually WMIs -Weapons of Mass Illumination that are genetically engineered to make people convert to Muslims and everyone knows all Muslims are terrorists;

Then start a war in outer Mongolia as they are making light bulbs in secret underground factories to deploy as WMIs. Based on intelligence from the light bulb death squads that roam the world with open kill orders, China gets nuked while they are there as it seems a shame to waste all those nukes nearing the end of their shelf life.

Then 100's to embed journalists in the war on light so that they can hide the counter revolutionary bulbs story in the jungle combat zone while maintaining plausible denyability;

Then 100s of Trumpites to get him re-elected when he incites the fundamentalist nutters to start domestic vigilante groups and shoot anyone of suspicion of harbouring the light;

After which he will declare a state of emergency because the fundamentalists are disorderly and light bulbs are at risk everywhere and need protection;

Then 100s of Trumpites to suspend all further elections and he will become president for life with his final democratic act being "the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off as it is a global conspiracy and God it seems turned out to be a terrorist".

So all this nonsense about changing light bulbs is utter rubbish and will be struck from the public record by the double-speak machine, including this joke which never existed.

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