The Pentagon has received intelligence that Islamic State insurgents have launched a lethal new submarine squadron in Baghdad.
Written in weird Persian hieroglyphics the data needs careful deciphering before US generals can act.
How do we know these 'subs' aren't just code for, say, 'camels' US Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel asks.
Mr Secretary, the tests show they're all full of Iraqi semen, a top Pentagon cryptographer replies.
