A blast from the past

Submitted by kbobk

Monday, 14 October 2013

Rules for being a good Republican: You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own. You have to be against government programs, but expect your Social Security checks on time. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and Bill and Hillary Clinton. You have to believe that a waiting period for purchasing a handgun is bad because quick access to a new firearm is an important concern for all Americans. You have to believe that the ACLU is bad because they defend the Constitution, while the NRA is good because they defend the Constitution. You have to believe that socialism hasn't worked anywhere, and that Europe doesn't exist. These beliefs are funny, and might be more relevant with the conception of the Tea Party.

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more