The pervy old entertainer almost missed being initiated into the Dracula Club at New York's Vampire Stake Building in '69.
Hundreds of top US bloodsuckers had turned out for the Fangsgiving Day ceremony including Savile's sponsor George W Bush.
But Bush was paralytic, completely unable to carry out his duties despite promising to be sober for Jim's big night.
Waiters were sent to pump Dubya with gallons of black coffee but after an hour the Texan was still ratarsed.
'What in hell's name have you been giving him?' Savile demanded as a new pot of New York Double Espresso made its way to Bush's table.
'Aha, no wonder,' Savile exclaimed, 'you daft bastards must be serving Bloody Decoffinated!'
