I wish Myrtle would give in and buy her some new glasses. All she will say it that she is not that old and that she can see well enough to drive and pass a test.
But it's embarrassing to see her out there bawling out that snowman the kids built by the window for being a Peeping Tom. I told the kids to quit picking at her but they say that I embarrass THEM when I pass out on the sidewalk in front of our house.
I try to tell them the difference but they won't listen.
While I am 'genuinely drunk', their Mom is in a fantasy world. Oh look! She accidentally knocked it's head off and now she's screaming on the cellphone. Better go call 911 and explain. They'll probably think I'm drunk again.
Stupid kids. I don't know where they get it from?
-I.B. Moleturd
