I can't understand the American public these days. They head into Crazy Charlies Cars, Foolish Fred's Furniture and Outlandish Otis Outdoor Wear and get taken.
Here I honestly advertise "Moleturd's Musical Merchandise" and no one shows up except an occasional family member or friend and they don't ever buy anything.
Americans are so easily fooled. "Moleturd's Musty Maggody Mashpit" and they'd come for miles. But they'd probably just fart around.
-I.B. Moleturd
