Masturbator Par Excellence

Submitted by Bureau

Friday, 19 July 2013

I don't want to brag but...oh, yes I do to be honest. But my wife is so proud of me and in all truth so am I.

You see, in this time of high unemployment, I have gotten me a job that pays $15 per hour. Also, I'm working for a good cause.

I applied for a job with the PETA people where I can help keep rare and semi-rare species alive. Plus, I work on the big boys.

As of last Monday, I have been working as the chief Rare-Animal Masturbator for the state's zoo.

So, shake hands with the new head of the department! No? Jealousy doesn't become one, you know.

-I.B. Moleturd

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