Of all places to get kicked out, I had to do it at Barnes and Noble, my very favorite library....bookstore. All I did was use those new things they have in their inside toilets.
You see, I had to pee really bad so I got up and left my Mad Magazine face down at the place I was reading (I hate it when someone turns a corner back to mark their mags).
So off I go and pee and there this thing on the wall that shoots out warm air. So I just turn around and jiggle myself till Li'l Moleturd is dry and this smart eleck tells the floor guy & out the door I go.
Bet he's just shame of his little feller and wanted to cause trouble.