Chancellor Merkel was rushed to the Emergency Room today amid reports she'd been bitten on the bum by a crazed German Shepherd.
Doctors gave her a tetanus booster shot but no anti-rabies vaccine as aides claimed 'she's always foaming at the mouth' during tricky EU talks.
'Ja, zee Chancellor is doing just fine,' a hospital spokesperson commented.
'Unfortunately zee Alsatian had to be destroyed after coming down with acute food poisoning.'
