Two lady friends went on a Girls Night Out.
Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee.
As they were alongside the graveyard one of them suggested they take a leak behind a headstone. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away.
Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on the grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girl's nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night blotto drunk and without her panties."
"That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, we'll never forget you!'