1: Dickson's Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
2: The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
3: Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
4: Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
5: One good turn gets most of the blankets.
6: There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.
7: Life is sexually transmitted.
8: An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
9: If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, then who is the fool who said "Quit while you're ahead"?
10: ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
11: Willie was a Chemist, But Willie is no more, What Willie thought was H20 Was H2SO4.
12: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
13: Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
14: It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
15: Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
16: Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
17: The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
18: Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
19: Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.
20: If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
