20 Valuable Thoughts of Wisdom

Submitted by Inchcock

Thursday, 15 March 2012

1: Dickson's Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

2: The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

3: Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

4: Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

5: One good turn gets most of the blankets.

6: There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.

7: Life is sexually transmitted.

8: An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

9: If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, then who is the fool who said "Quit while you're ahead"?

10: ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.

11: Willie was a Chemist, But Willie is no more, What Willie thought was H20 Was H2SO4.

12: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

13: Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

14: It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

15: Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

16: Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.

17: The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18: Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

19: Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.

20: If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

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