25 things that Engineer's Say, & Actually Mean Explained!

Submitted by Inchcock

Sunday, 11 March 2012

1
Engineer says: A number of different approaches are being tried.
Engineer means: We are still grasping at straws.

2
Engineer says: We're working on a fresh approach to the problem.
Engineer means: We just hired three kids fresh out of school.

3
Engineer says: Close project coordination.
Engineer means: We know who to blame.

4
Engineer says: Major technological breakthrough.
Engineer means: It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.

5
Engineer says: Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured.
Engineer means: We are so far behind schedule that the customer is happy to get it delivered.

6
Engineer says: Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive.
Engineer means: The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

7
Engineer says: Test results were extremely gratifying
Engineer means: We are so surprised that the stupid thing works

8
Engineer says: The entire concept will have to be abandoned.
Engineer means: The only person who understood the thing quit.

9
Engineer says: It is in process.
Engineer means: It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is hopeless.

10
Engineer says: We'll look into it.
Engineer means: Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

11
Engineer says: Please read and initial.
Engineer means: Let's spread the responsibility for the mistake.

12
Engineer says: Give us the benefit of your thoughts.
Engineer means: We'll listen to what you say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

13
Engineer says: Give us your interpretation.
Engineer means: I can't wait to hear this!

14
Engineer says: See me/Let's Discuss.
Engineer means: Come into my office, I'm lonely.

15
Engineer says: All new!
Engineer means: Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

16
Engineer says: Rugged.
Engineer means: Too heavy to lift!

17
Engineer says: Lightweight.
Engineer means: Lighter than rugged.

18
Engineer says: Years of development.
Engineer means: One finally worked.

19
Engineer says: Energy saving
Engineer means: Achieved when the power switch is off

20
Engineer says: Low maintenance.
Engineer means: Impossible to fix if broken.

21
Engineer says: Adjusted during testing.
Engineer means: We hit it with a hammer.

22
Engineer says: It took some persuasion.
Engineer means: We hit it several times with a hammer.

23
Engineer says: It must be the fluffer valve.
Engineer means: I have no fucking clue why it stopped working. (or, I have no clue why it started working again... but I'm going to take the credit for it).

24
Engineer says: The spare parts will be here in 24 hours.
Engineer means: The spare parts will be here eventually I'm almost sure.


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