These rejected Valentine's Day cards somehow never made it to store shelves, I wonder why?
I admire your strength, I admire your spunk,
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
Our love will never become cold and hollow,
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
I bought this Valentine's card at the store,
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
This feels so good, it feels so right,
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class,
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-fat ass.
Before I met you, my heart was so famished,
But now I'm fulfilled, 'So make me a samwich!
Through all the things that came to pass,
Our love has grown, but so has your ass!
You're a honey, and you're a cutie,
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty"!
I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny,
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
I remember when I met you on this card,
Dancing to 'Move It', by Cliff Richard!
I remember when I first met you on the bus,
We were both going to sign on at the Jobcentre Plus!