A KGB officer is walking in the park and he sees and old Jewish man reading a book.
The KGB says "What are you reading old man?"
The old man says "I am trying to teach myself Hebrew."
KGB says "Why are you trying to learn Hebrew? It takes years to get a visa for Israel. You would die before the paperwork got done."
"I am learning Hebrew so that when I die and go to Heaven I will be able to speak to Abraham and Moses. Hebrew is the language they speak in Heaven," the old man replies.
"But what if when you die you go to Hell?" asks KGB.
And the old man replies, "Russian, I already know."