25) Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A: Sue.
26) Q: What's the best thing to light up a soccer game?
A: A soccer match!
27) Q: What did the mayonaise say when someone opened the refrigerator door.
A: Close the door I am dressing!
28) Q: What's black, white, and read all over?
A: A newspaper!
29) Q: What did the termite say when it entered the bar?
A: Is the bar-tender here?
30) Two blondes walked into a bar...you'd think at least one of them would have saw it.
31) Q: What would you call a Security Guard with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
32) Q: What did the man say when he walked into the bar?
A: Ouch!
33) "Knock knock" - "Who's there?" - "Ya" - "Ya who?" - Are you a cowboy?"
34) A girl comes to English class, 15 minutes late.
Teacher: "Where have you been? You're late for class"
Girl: "Throwing pebbles in the lake"
Teacher: "All right then, be seated. But don't let this happen again".
A second girl comes to English class, 20 minutes late (First girl sits down).
Teacher: "Why are you late? Class started twenty minutes ago"
Girl 2: "I'm sorry. I was just tossing pebbles into the lake. I won't do it again...promise." (Girl sits down)
A third girl comes in, 25 minutes late. She's drenched from head to toe, and shivering from the cold.
Teacher: "You're 25 minutes late! Why are you so late, young lady? And why are your clothes wet? What's your name? "
Girl 3: "My name is pebbles"
35) "Horror at the kitchen, where a ghastly crime scene took place. The victims suffered terrible injuries; two suffered severe wounds, and one died.
Three suspects fled the scene of the crime and are wanted for their heinous crimes; They are wanted for beating eggs, whipping cream, and killing time"
36) I couldn't remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
