William Hague - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Ffion got a call last night from Sam Cam inviting us up to Chequers next weekend. I said Oh God what new hell is this going t'be.

It'll be all 'Harrods this' and 'caviar that.' And JammieDodger (PM) will just get tanked as usual.

I told Ffion to come up with an excuse - we're opening a donkey sanctuary in Rotherham or summat. Chequers is not for the likes of us and Ffion bloody knows it.

That time they took us to some fancy restaurant in Buckinghamshire. There was so much friggin cutlery I thought I was in t'kitchen department in BHS.

I told Ffion on t'way home. Seared tuna steaks my arse. The likes of us should stick to bloody sausages and mash.