Susan Boyle - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 12 January 2013

Oh God, Simon just rang and he wants me to perform on the next series of X Factor. Who the hell does he think he is? Stupid great git, why would I want to do a naff show like that one. I mean I sang for the Pope for Christ's sake!! I'm Susan Boyle, eighth wonder of the singing world, not some sort of Justin Beiber doppelganger! Bleedin' hell I'm gonna get back on that phone and give tosser extraordinaire a gob full. X Factor indeed!!!! (pushes chair to floor and up ends table)