Susan Boyle - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Susan Boylie to star in her very first film

"Britains got Talent star" Susan Boylie is to star in her very first film.

Susan Boylie, winner of Britains got talent is set to star in the lead role of Sam Pependyke,s multi million production of Pretty Ugly Worm Hole. Pependyke on a rare visit to the Uk for some cheap tobacco tripped over Susan as she lay sleeping on the floor of the VIP suite at Manchester Airport after she refused to pay £38.50 for a VIP night cabin, saying "I might be rich and beautiful -in my own mind" but I am not fucking silly. Pependyke later told reporters, at first when I tripped over her I thought I had stood in a huge sloppy dog shit but then I realised it was Miss Boylie and the moment I saw her I knew she was perfect to star in the lead role for my new film "Pretty Ugly Worm Hole" Pependyke refused to go deeply into the plot as Stephen Spielburk and John Derrickle were at the bar but said it was loosly based around a lady Zombie who had nearly everything a person could have in life, a great voice, wealth, fast cars, a council house, riches, mansions, designer clothing, yachts, exotic holidays, expensive jewellery and perfume but apart from that, fuck all. The film will be located in Scunthorpe and Miss Boyle photographed this morning at 5.30pm for as shopping trip at Matalan (Pictured below in case you do not recognise her without her make up on) said she was thrilled to land the part and in this particular case, the part was landed for my acting talents, the "Directors Couch" never even came into the equation, the bastard did not want to know.

Pependyke a rewnowned Director who has
shagged hundreds of wannabe starlets said
"sometimes in life when you meet the right women for the part one envisages" you sure
are glad that you are an old fucker with no
Interest in sex anymore

Susan Boylie will be signing copies of her latest single

Oh Lord I am the face of Excavation
in construction quarries

at HMV Trafford Centre
Saturday 3rd June

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