Santa Claus - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 1 September 2012

More startling revelations of who has requested what for Christmas 2012:

* Wayne Rooney: A large Elastoplast

* RVP: A broken foot for Wayne Rooney

* Alex Ferguson: A non-nuclear bomb for Man City

* Lord John Prescott: £993,887,466.34 million for himself

* George Osborne: A nuclear fallout shelter for himself

* Nick Clegg: 29 faith rings - as presents for all the Lib-Dem supporters