Santa Claus - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 12 July 2007

Dear Fucking Diary,

Fucking Hello!

Choppper Reid h-...I mean Santa Calush yeah! I went to fucking Australia last fucking christmas and I went down thsi great man's chimney his name was fucking Mark Chopper Reid he was a mass murderer and a good fucking one too 18 kills never did time for any fucking one. he read me a poem called Twas the Night Before Christmas when I came down teh cimney like a sooty red bastard of course he was angry the prancing and pouring of my fucking homosexual reindeer Right-O I'm glad he didn't start fucking shooting or else I would'nt have been able to come back pose as him and fuck his wife who's a fucking tart as well oh fuck did I tell you the Spoof gave me a Fuck counter I'm only allowed to say Fuck 15 times :11

Fucking 11? I thought I was ten How the fuck did I get to 11?! 13? That's f-...That's bloody bullshit yeah not so big now are you you fucking fuck counter **** counter 15?! **** what's that about!? You're not bloody beeping me are you that's ****ing bullshit! What? I can say bullshit? I don't want to say bullshit it'a ****ing gay swear! **** that's it ooo here comes Mrs. Claus BADONKADONKDONK time!