Santa Claus - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 17 July 2007

Dear Diary,

It's been another successful Christmas! I still didn't go to North Korea though, because last time they tried to shoot down my sleigh using some anti-aircraft weapons. It was Rudolf's red nose that gave away our position. That damn nose will be the death of me. I wanted to get the slaves to make me some defense missiles just in case, but that is beyond our budget, ho ho ho!

Hopefully Al Gore received his special present: a death threat saying that if he continues researching global warming I would send in my Reindeer Alpha Squadron to take care of him. If the world finds out it was the vast amounts of exhaust I spew into the atmosphere from the slave workshops that caused global warming, well... nevermind, who would suspect Santa Claus? Ho ho ho! Most people don't even think I exist. Ho ho!

Anyway, I've got to go see if the slaves aren't slacking off, and make sure Mrs. Claus has my dinner ready.