Santa Claus - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 20 March 2010

I love April Fool's Day, and it is coming up soon.

I love lighting bags of reindeer poop on fire and putting them outside of an elf's front door. I love "short sheeting" their little tiny beds (though the sheets can't get much shorter). I love saran wrapping the toilets in the toy factory and hearing the people scream. I love adding ex-lax to the reindeer food and seeing the mess that the guys in stable duty (or should I say "stable doodey") have to clean up. I love calling the girls on the naughty list and telling them their V.D. tests came back positive.

What are they going to do? Fire me? I'm Santa Claus, and I grease doorknobs, so sue me!