Santa Claus - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Valentine's Day is this week, and I have no idea what to get Mrs. Claus.

We've got candy up here all of the time, so that's no good. They don't make sexy lingerie that big (and it isn't sexy when it's that big any way). Flowers tend to die before they ever get delivered to the North Pole. Everything she wears is already red and has fur.

Maybe I should just take her out somewhere romantic.

Afterwards, we could park the sleigh in some isolated spot and I could get her into the back seat....

No, that won't work. The stupid reindeer are always making cat calls.

I hate Valentine's Day!