Santa Claus - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 5 January 2010

"I got sleighed by Santa on Christmas Day" t-shirts....I hate them. If I ever see another one on a hot, young girl from the naughtly list, I'm gonna make her put out and live up to what she's advertizing. If these little tramps are going to tell everyone that they slept with me, THEN THEY DAMN WELL BETTER DO IT!"

I'm also sick of those "Santa only comes once a year" and "Santa only comes down the chimney" jokes. I'm 800 years old, but I don't need Viagra and my pecker has as much energy as it did when I was 25.

I think that next year I'm gonna give all of the bad girls KY jelly, Victoria's Secret lingerie, and a night they'll never forget.

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