Ross Kemp - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 21 April 2012

Nans not answering her phone! Oh no - I'm going to have to run round their and see if she's ok - probably breaking the door down and reviving her in case she's had a fall or something!

The story will get out - a neighbour will tell the media - and I'll be hailed a hero - just like I was in Afghanistan, Iraq and South London.

I better stop writing this diary and get round there - every second could be critical - oh hang... someone just sent me a text message...

"Sorry Ross love, can't pick up - watching the snooker. nana xx"

Oh... well at least she's alright.